


of thieves & ballrooms & birthday presents

by spokenitalics



Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Dancing, Diabolik AU, Flirting, M/M, Roleplay, Screenplay/Script Format, thieves au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26514553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spokenitalics/pseuds/spokenitalics
Summary: NICKY: Will you dance with me?Joe considers for a moment before taking Nicky's hand.JOE: I must warn you, though. I'm here with someone.Nicky is already pulling him towards the dance floor.NICKY: So am I.This is a Diabolik AU in the sense that Joe and Nicky are thieves and that I was listening to the Danger: Diabolik soundtrack (thanks, Mr. Morricone) while writing it. Also, it’s a script because…..well, you’ll see....
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 16
Kudos: 110





	of thieves & ballrooms & birthday presents

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to karios for betaing this!!

**INT. ROCOCO BALLROOM - NIGHT**

Tall white-and-gold walls, checkered marble floor, hints of pastel pink and mint green everywhere.

Over the sound of classical music, we hear snippets of conversations: economy, politics, gossip. 

It could pass for a scene out of a period drama, if not for the people inhabiting the room: women with shining jewelry and lurid mid-century gowns that seem to be at war with the soft colors surrounding them; men with loose ties and unpolished shoes; most of them middle-aged, all of them filthy rich, and probably quite drunk. 

It might not be the 1700s anymore, but this is still where decadence comes to party. 

We move through the amorphous, colorful crowd to find Joe, wearing an expensive dark blue suit. 

He's giving us his back as he stares up at a painting mounted on the wall — think Fragonard's "The Swing," but uglier.

As we move closer to him, a waitress holding a tray of champagne glasses approaches him. He takes one and smiles at her.

When she's gone, he smells the content — cheap stuff, exactly what you'd expect from an American ambassador in France. He makes a disgusted face and sets the glass on a table nearby before turning his attention back to the painting—

Suddenly, Nicky is there, really close to Joe, almost plastered against his back, his lips inches away from Joe's ear. 

(He's wearing a black tuxedo with a blood-red bowtie.) 

NICKY: Extraordinary, isn't it? You can really feel the grass reaching out from the canvas.

A smile grows on Joe's face as he half-turns towards Nicky. 

JOE: It's a fake. 

NICKY: How can you tell?

JOE: I know the man who forged it. 

Nicky lets out a short laugh. 

NICKY: You keep dangerous company. 

JOE: You could say that, yeah. 

Another waiter approaches them. They both wave him away politely. 

NICKY: I guess this is where I tell you I know nothing about art. 

JOE: I gathered as much. 

NICKY: I just needed an excuse to talk to you. 

JOE: I gathered that too. 

Nicky's expression changes, becoming more serious. He's holding his hand out for Joe. 

NICKY: So? 

JOE: So what?

NICKY: Will you dance with me?

Joe considers for a moment before taking Nicky's hand. 

JOE: I must warn you, though. I'm here with someone. 

Nicky is already pulling him towards the dance floor.

NICKY: So am I.

JOE: Really?

Nicky's other hand finds its way to the small of Joe's back; Joe puts his on Nicky's shoulder. They sway to the slow rhythm of the music, perfectly in sync with one another. 

NICKY: He's a nerd. Probably busy making eyes at some statue, right now. But I'm here for work. 

JOE: You shouldn't let me distract you, then. 

NICKY: I couldn't resist. Why are you here? 

The people around them have started to notice them, whispering things, good and bad — they don't care either way. 

JOE: It's my birthday, actually. I was hoping to get a closer look at that ring the ambassador's wife keeps boasting about. 

NICKY: The Ocean's Eye? 

JOE: Apparently they keep it in some super-secret safe, though. Unbreakable, they say. 

NICKY: And your date? 

JOE: No idea where he is, actually. 

NICKY: He left you all alone like this?

JOE: He does that. 

Nicky leans closer. Their eyes are locked, their noses are almost touching. 

NICKY: He's an idiot, then. And reckless. 

JOE: Reckless? 

NICKY: Someone might steal you. 

JOE: It's usually me who does that. 

Nicky pulls him even closer. He's whispering in Joe's ear again:

NICKY: Steal me, then. 

JOE: Haven't I already? 

Just then, the music stops. But the room is far from silent — conversations, laughter, the sound of glass breaking, more laughter. 

Without saying another word, Joe untangles himself from Nicky.

We watch him walk away just as Nicky does, from over his shoulder. 

CUT TO:

**INT. ROCOCO CORRIDOR - NIGHT**

We move backward down a scarcely lit, deserted corridor, every bit as richly decorated as the ballroom.

Joe is walking towards us.

A moment later, Nicky appears behind him, quickly catching up. 

Far away, the music starts again.

NICKY: What about that ring? Are you gonna steal it? 

JOE: No.

NICKY: No? 

JOE: It's my birthday, I took the day off. 

Then, suddenly, Joe turns on his heels, moving toward Nicky. 

Their bodies crash together, and then their mouths.

Nicky finds himself trapped between Joe and the wall. He doesn't seem to mind in the slightest. 

CUT TO:

A close up of Joe's hand moving along the length of Nicky's body as they kiss, from Nicky's face down to his neck to his side to his thigh.

It hovers there for a moment before going inside the pocket of Nicky's pants. 

From it, Joe produces a ring: a simple silver band set with an oval sapphire — the fabled Ocean's Eye. Even in the pale gloom, the multifaceted surface of the stone shines bright— 

But not as bright as Joe's face as he slides it on his finger. 

NICKY: Happy birthday, babe. 

They kiss again — slower, this time, sweeter. 

We hear the sound of static, and they do too. It's coming from their earpieces.

They pull away, resting their foreheads against each other.

ANDY (V.O.): When you're done flirting or role-playing or whatever this is, Nile is waiting for you in the courtyard. You know, to escape from the place you just robbed?

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to come & scream at me about the old guard (or diabolik!) on [tumblr](http://spokenitalics.tumblr.com)!


End file.
